Youngstown, OH 44502 Where I'm From
Who I am is less important than why we're here.
But people ask. So here it is, in chapters. I've come to think of my life as a book, and I know the author better now than I ever have.
Chapter 01 Youngstown
The block
I grew up in a split home, and I understood what that felt like from a very early age. My dad is from the backwoods of Alabama. My mom is from Youngstown. So I'm from Youngstown, Ohio.
I was a kid who walked outside and saw concrete all the time. Broken glass. Broken-down vehicles. I didn't see fresh, bright green grass. We didn't sit around the dinner table together.
When I hear somebody say they have to be a product of where they come from because that's all they've ever seen, I understand. I've also seen it. And I know a whole bunch of people from my block who didn't make it out.
Chapter 02 The storms
What I watched
I grew up watching siblings struggle with substance use disorders and mental health disorders. Not only siblings. Family. I watched family be completely ravaged and ripped apart by it.
I was an angry kid. I was so mad at my mom. I didn't understand. That's normal, I know that now, but I didn't know it then.
And still, somewhere in all of it, I had the wherewithal to hope. To feel like I don't have to. There's something in that, and there are people who have to hear it.
I paid attention in the storms.
Chapter 03 Paying attention
Knowing the author
When I reflect on my life, it really has been chapters of a book. Now that I know better, from mistakes, from failure, I know better. I've learned lessons. I paid attention in the storms.
So now I can write the next chapters differently. I don't have to repeat those things, or indulge in those things, or surround myself with certain types of people. I don't go to certain places. I don't let certain things in.
You are the author of your story. How do you want to write the next page? Not the ending. Let's not even get to the ending. The next page, then the next chapter, then the one after that.
I know the author better now than I ever have.
Chapter 04 The rooms
The table and the street
Today I sit in rooms with CEOs and executives and business owners, doctors and lawyers. I sit at the table with a university president and chief of staff. This kid from Youngstown.
Then I go down to 49507 and meet with people who are homeless, and I talk with them and treat them the same exact way. Somebody who's been down there with me told me he'd never seen anything like it. I don't perceive it as anything. This is really who I am.
I love talking to people. When I'm at the grocery store, I love connecting with people. When I say how are you doing, I really mean it. I'm not putting on a front at all.
Same man. Same way.
Chapter 05 The work
What I've been able to do
Everything on this list came from my lived experience first, and from my network second. I know a lot of people who want to help, who have a passion and resources, and don't know how. I know how.
The life-changing things are the most important ones. And the greatest thing I do, maybe, is helping someone build themselves back up after being down. If you don't have that, it's hard to accomplish anything else.
- Helped men and women with disabilities obtain employment and change their lives. I've seen them change their families.
- Helped dads separated from their children by prison come home, reunify, and learn how to father.
- Helped men and women navigate life and get housing after being homeless on the streets.
- Helped young men and women go from a high school diploma or GED to a college education, or to a certified skilled trade.
- Watched some of them get an apartment before their parents had one. Some of their parents moved in.
- Helped some of them take the step to starting their own LLC.
- Helped executives and business owners write and develop programs that are changing lives right now, in big numbers.
Chapter 06 What I believe
The toolbox.
As you pursue things, you're going to run into situations. You have to have some armor. You have to have a toolbox packed with what you need to fix, navigate, tighten, loosen.
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God first.
I believe in God first. I've developed a faith. That doesn't make you religious. There's a difference. But I have a belief and a faith in God.
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Progress, not perfection.
When you make progress, celebrate the small wins. That's where my belief system is at.
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Recovery is real.
Everybody can recover from something. No matter what you struggle with, recovering from it is completely possible if you so choose. It can't be done on someone else's timeline. You have to decide it's time.
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Healthy habits hold.
Mental, emotional, and financial fitness are sustainable if you create healthy habits. The discipline that takes is what I coach.
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Get off at the first stop.
If you get on the wrong bus, get off at the first stop. Don't ride it to the end of the route and then decide. The return ride is much more expensive.
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What happened to you?
The question isn't what's wrong with that person. Back up and ask what may have happened to them. You are not your worst mistakes.
Chapter 07 Peace
Peace looked like a problem
I posted a video of me just walking, when we were camping. So many people wrote me. Are you okay? What's going on?
My message was that I've truly found peace in my life. I meant peace. But peace looked different to so many people. To some, peace looked like a problem. The ones who couldn't recognize it were worried. The ones who could said, man, you're there. That's peaceful.
Everyone hears things differently, and it resonates differently with everyone. I'm not hopeless today. If you want to know how I got here, I'll tell you.
If he can do it, I can.
That's what I want you to walk away with. Nothing else.